Feeling It: Concentrated

The powers of the mind are like the rays of the sun –

when they are concentrated, they illumine.

Swami Vivekananda

Somebody told me ‘concentrated’ isn’t really an emotion, but I strongly disagree 🙂

It might feel like a state of mind, but in my case I can easily call it a feeling.

Here’s what Cambridge Dictionary tells us:

Concentrated – directing attention or efforts towards a particular activity, subject, or problem.

I get it – you’re normally concentrated ON this or that emotion or event, so it’s rather a degree or a stage of it. The point is that when concentrated, I don’t really feel anything else happening inside, so if you ask me then what I feel, I’ll say ‘Concentrated’ 😉 Yes, it does happen that I just focus on a particular object or action around, but then it doesn’t feel like an emotion 😉 What I want to say is that even though this word may not initially mean an emotion, I still feel it like this at times 😉

I get really focused on my work, capable of reading, searching, sitting at the laptop for hours. Another sphere of my biggest attention is prayer, here I’m basically thrown out of the reality, and could actually write a separate post about it, if I were one of those people 😉 Concerts / gigs of MY music shake the smallest bits of awareness out of me in no time, making me so concentrated on their 7-note combinations that it’s physically hard to come back when the people I came with want to ask or tell something. Luckily, my good friends know better than to distract me when I’m there with my eyes closed 😉 Probably I should stop now because a few more areas that draw all my attention aren’t for public 😉

At the end of this, here’s a traditional treat of quotes:

• Endurance is patience concentrated.
• Concentration is the root of all the higher abilities in man.
• To be concentrated means to live fully in the present.

Feeling It: Guilty

Guilt isn’t always a rational thing.

Guilt is a weight that will crush you

whether you deserve it or not.

Maurene Johnson

Pity I’m not a Catholic – I’d have so much more to tell about guilt 😉 With all due respect 🙂 Nonetheless, I’m not a stranger to it, so it’s on my list, and in my heart more often than it’s reasonable or desirable.

Cambridge Dictionary says that

Guilty is the person who has done something wrong or who has committed a crime.

I disagree about two things here:

1. It’s not necessarily a person (remember your dogs after having stolen your steak or biting through your new shoes? 😉 )
2. Doing something wrong isn’t a prerequisite for the feeling of guilt. I feel it perfectly well even without doing anything wrong, and my brother can very easily do something really not right and walk around with the clean conscience 😉

Why would I feel guilty at all? And why would I feel it when I didn’t do anything specifically harmful or such?

The thing that I’ve got a thing about (pardon the pun 😉 ) is not to bother anyone with my requests, or even simply with my presence, so at times I feel guilty just because of being somewhere where I think people could really do without me around 😉 Like in transport during the rush hour – you’ve got to get home too, just like them, but you feel sorry getting on the bus since it’s almost packed already. And you don’t want to get me started on the subject of asking for anything! 😉 Before I ask the way in the street, I’d get lost ten times, find myself in some dodgy area, with the GPS swearing at me, and a low battery in my phone 🙂

If my mom woke up because I wasn’t quiet enough in the morning – guilty, if my student cannot remember a word – guilty, if I overslept and didn’t manage to do my exercise – same old guilty. Strangely, only if I accidentally kick my cat in the dark (he’s black and old, thus invisible in the dark and not fast enough to move), does my conscience stay untroubled 😉

Getting rid of this unreasonable feeling is near impossible, and since I don’t normally mention it, no one suspects I’m hurting inside, I try not to focus on it, tell myself I’m being too hard on myself again, and get along with whatever I was doing 😉 However, having open conversations with my best friends helps a lot. When I don’t feel guilty to talk about it 😉

Now, here’s what the Internet thinks about guilt:

• In law a man is guilty when he violates the rights of others. In ethics he is guilty if he only thinks of doing so.
• Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind.
• Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do.
• The most beautiful words in the English language are ‘not guilty’.
  

Feeling It: Surprised

Expect nothing

and you’ll always be surprised.

Daniel Defoe

Surprised there are two posts instead of one today? Not as much as I am 😉

This morning my dream was the one I was glad to wake up from as fast as possible, and the word ‘suprised’ gives just a slight hint on how I actually felt when I came back to reality 😉 That’s what I still feel, if you trust Cambridge Dictionary:

Surprised –  feeling or showing surprise because something has happened that you did not expect.

This relatively neutral in its core emotion is best-seen in children, and it’s unimaginably funny to watch them with their eyes wide open, gaping mouths, and raised eyebrows 🙂 They also often shriek or jump, or do some other physical expression of surprise, which adults very often keep reserved. Since it’s breakfast time, and it’s Friday, here’s something funny for you to watch:

I personally love being surprised, and as I rarely have any expectations, it happens quite a lot 😉 A new word in Dutch that sounds funny or means something linguistically adorable can make me surprised and delighted for hours 😉 To my mind, it’s not easy not to expect a lot from life and people, and in my case it’s a kind of an inborn quality, or at least acquired very early, so I basically don’t have to work on it, so to speak. However, I do think it makes the world a much more fascinating place if you keep your mind open and adapt to the things which unexpectedly fall into your lap 😉 Especially if the power to change them is not in your hands 😉

May this Friday surprise you in the best possible way! 🙂

Naturally, this emotion can’t but have quite a few amusing sayings, so here you go:

• If you find it necessary to judge me by my past, don’t be surprised when I find it necessary to put you there.
• Surprises are better than promises.
• If you surround yourself with clowns, don’t be surprised when your life resembles a circus.
• I’m kind of surprised I’m not an action figure by now! 🙂

Feeling It: Dreamy

Dreams are as simple

or as complicated

as the dreamer.

Brian Herbert

Yeah, as dreamy as today – writing this post so dangerously close to midnight 😉

Seriously, I simply decided to see my dream till the end today morning, so failed to get up earlier to write another post in time 😉 Moreover, I didn’t know the emotion which was waiting for me on the list 🙂 Coincidence? I don’t think so 😉 Being the usual persistent me, here’s a sneak peek into a dreamy me 😉

According to Urban Dictionary:

Dreamy – describing a totally whimsical and lovely state of mind or experience 🙂

So true 😉

The thing is I don’t really daydream a lot. Practically never. Started only a couple of months ago. Stopped quickly. Not sure I won’t do it again, though 😉 In fact, it’s qute a lovely state of mind and definitely one of the best ways to kill time in transport or standing in a queue 😉 Daydreaming while doing something else is not my thing, however, doing that when someone else is talking too long (I don’t mean my friends, mind you 😉 ) makes me drowsy after the first fifteen minutes. Remember lectures at university? Well, if the lecturer wasn’t dancing, singing, showing pictures or giving practical tasks, they lost me almost at once. Only later did I find out that audial perception of information is basically non-existent in my personal range of channels 😉 I’m a nicely common mix of visual and kinaesthetic types 😉 So that you’d know why I start yawning in your midsentence 😛

Although I barely daydream, there is one guaranteed source of rocketing me into the space of daydreaming, and it is music 🙂 Really good music, and here I mean the kind I find good, especially at the live concerts or gigs, puts me into a kind of a trance and I don’t notice anything or anyone, standing there with my eyes closed, watching images flowing in my mind… It’s one of the best states I’ve ever been in, and every time I go to the show of the band I love, I feel a tickly sensation in the pit of my stomach, sending me anticipation chills and proving over and over again that there certainly exists something bigger than life 😉

Feeling It: Annoyed

I don’t have pet peeves,

I have whole kennels of irritation.

Whoopi Goldberg

It does have something special about it – to open the list of emotions I drew up four days ago, and see the emotion I’ll have to write about today 🙂 Seeing one that doesn’t really fit your mood might be slightly annoying 😉 Just kidding – in such cases only curiosity is in action 😉 Nonetheless, feeling annoyed isn’t exactly an unfamiliar state for me, so, before you get pissed off because of this long introduction, I’m going to get down to the subject 😉

Annoyed – slightly angry. (Longman Dictionary)

Honestly speaking, I wouldn’t call it being angry, even slightly, it’s like calling an itchy patch on your body a wound. My state of being annoyed is normally just feeling as if I really need to get rid of something, or want something to stop, because it interferes with my current affairs or tries to spoil my cheerful spirit. Girls will get the metaphor with an uncomfortable skirt or pantyhose – you simply can’t wait till you get home and take them off, but it doesn’t really make you angry 😉

What has the biggest chance to annoy me is basically two things, and they both normally happen in public transport: no air or someone’s bag/coat/umbrella touching my knees when I’m sitting 😉 Traditionally, I’d rather keep quiet about either of them if the trip isn’t too long, but if it is, then I’d do my best to keep a window open at least a bit, and move my knees to the side 😉 It’s clear about the air – I don’t feel good in sultry places, but regarding my knees, it’s a bit of a funny issue. I guess I just have especially irritable nerves there 😉

One more major issue for me has always been music 😉 If I’m in a place with IMHO terrible music, it’s quite an effort for me not to pay attention or make snide remarks 😉 Terrible, I know, but I’m only human 😉

Naturally, dozens not very pleasant situations take place every day, but they may only cause something passing quickly, which I wouldn’t consider annoying. Anything is bearable if you are content with your inner self, because it’s the best medicine for boredom and any external nuisance 😉

In order to pacify you all after reading such an anger-provoking post, here are some funny phrases to get you going through the day with a healthy dose of sarcasm:

• I may look calm, but in my head I’ve killed you three times.
• Sorry, sarcasm falls out of my mouth like stupidity falls out of yours.
• If I sound annoyed, it’s because I am.
• It’s just like magic. When you live by yourself, all of your annoying habits are gone.

Feeling It: Content

To be content doesn’t mean

you don’t desire more;

It means you’re thankful for what you have

and patience for what’s to come.

Tony Gaskins

This feeling is basically omnipresent in my life, I guess it serves as a basis for happiness. It makes me feel whole even when the world around is breaking into smithereens 🙂

Content – in a state of peaceful happiness; willing to accept something; satisfied (Oxford Dictionary).

Sounds like me, huh? 😉

There are quite a few people around, including some in my family, who don’t seem to be satisfied with anything, be it their job, relationship, or even the colour of their eyes. Their constant comparison of their life and someone else’s is exhaustingly confusing: why would you be looking at other people’s lives when you’ve got yours, the cOntent of which has an ability to make your contEnt 😉 Yes, comparison is one of the ways we perceive the world and find our place in it, but it shouldn’t cloud your vision or judgement of what’s yours and what doesn’t and really shouldn’t belong to you. At times I’ve heard people say, ‘Oh, I wish I were you!’ Seriously, people, you really don’t! 😉 There’s much more behind this happy little thing called me than you can imagine, so stay exactly where you are and who you are 😉

I guess I take it after my dad, who always seems to have this inner wisdom and maybe little, but his own world. I’m definitely more outgoing and ambitious, but I do feel content most of the time, and if something starts bothering me, I simply get to action 😉 However, being a girl, I do need just to talk about my little worries without immediate solutions 😉

Anyhoo, today I’m pretty content too, if only I weren’t a little bit in a hurry, so bye now, go be stars of your own incredible lives! 😉

Feeling It: Desperate

Oh mischief, thou art

swift to enter in the thoughts

of desperate men!

William Shakespeare

Technically, this emotion is not a frequent visitor to my life, but the moments I felt it are one of the most memorable, so here comes 😉 Or, following the quoted W.S., here cometh 🙂

Desperate – feeling or showing a hopeless sense that a situation is so bad as to be impossible to deal with (Oxford Dictionary).

When I found myself, such a nice, lovely, sunny person, losing pretty much everything that mattered the most to me at that time, it was hard not to feel desperate 😉 And I did, quite successfully, but without showing it to anyone around 😉 I kept working, meeting with friends, cooking, going shopping… But one beautiful morning I suddenly realised I wasn’t more alive than the oatmeal I’d just cooked, and then my lone trip to the country of Desperado came to an abrupt end 😉 Seriously, just at one magical moment I felt the word ‘enough’ burning in my heart 😉 So I moved house, received my CELTA, finally visited the concert of the Stereophonics, and met quite a few wonderful people on the way 😉 The lesson I learnt was that being desperate is normal, and even the strongest and most optimistic people have the right to feel as if the end of the world is near. The point is not to hide it as deep as possible, but to deal with it and find those feeble straws to hang on every single day 😉 Remember, in any awkward situation, just stop it (c) 😉

In conclusion, here are some brainy quotes about being desperate:

• There are no desperate situations, there are only desperate people.
• It is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things.
• I am desperate to do a comedy now. (by one handsome guy Tom Hiddleston)

 

Feeling It: Curious

I have no special talents.

I’m only passionately curious.

Albert Einstein

Curious –  interested in learning about people or things around you (Cambridge Dictionary) 🙂

Yeah, well, not sure about people, but things around me – that’s very true 😉

Sometimes I think that my level of curiosity has already reached the Cat Level 😉

Curiosity is a major driving force for me, no matter whether it concerns my job, my personal life or even such things as food 🙂 The worst of the worst states of mind, as for me, is indifference. This is when you slowly become a robot, losing touch with the vibrance of life hence turning it into plain existence.

This emotion has already helped me out a lot during the darkest of times. When I woke up in the morning, not knowing how to live through another day, this restless like a 4-year-old kid feeling made me get up and pull through out of simple interest in what tomorrow brings 😉 Which was quite annoying 😛

Now that I’ve embraced curiosity as an integral part of my personality, I can even use it when necessary. For instance, when learning Dutch and thinking that I’ll never-ever be able to understand a word they’re saying, I catch a teensy-weensy trace of curiosity about those words I can’t comprehend yet, and keep trying harder 😉

This childlike way of exploring the world, when you don’t really follow the plan, but let the inquisitiveness lead you, is an amazing way to stay alive in the full meaning of this word. Being an adult, I do have agendas (yes, the hidden ones too 😉 ), but when travelling or loving someone, or choosing what to do on a day-off, or trusting someone completely – this is when my curiosity gains its absolute power 🙂

To sum it all up in a funny and useful way, here are some lovely quotes about curiosity:

• One who asks never loses his way. (However, I’d still Google first 😉 )
• A man should go on living – if only to satisfy his curiosity.
• He who asks a question is a fool for a minute; he who does not remains a fool forever.
• and my favourite: Ignorance killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Feeling It: Happy

This is a truly emotional challenge, charged with everything we might have in our hearts.

It’s a kind of mindless as there are only pure emotions involved.

This is a funny and insightful way to explore myself and give you a chance to join in 🙂

Within the next 14 days I’m going to write 14 posts about one emotion that I often experience in my life, and possible situations that bring it up. For the sake of logic, if a certain emotion is negative, I’m also going to describe my ways of dealing with it. In case they don’t work, I’ll ask for your advice and common sense to help me out 😉

So, let’s begin!

Emotion #1 – HAPPY 🙂

HAPPY – feeling, showing, or causing pleasure or satisfaction (Cambridge Dictionary)

Naturally, this one comes to me so easily it’s sometimes ridiculous 😉

I mean, why would anyone be deliriously happy about going to bed because there might be dreams waiting for me on the pillow? Or waking up at six in the morning, five minutes before the alarm clock, smiling at a new dawn and the mysterious and thus fascinating unknown of the coming day? Or turning the calendar on the first day of a month, standing on my toes, brimming with curiosity of what this month’s picture depicts? Or hearing my parents laugh in the next room? Or tasting a new flower and finding it sweet (don’t ask 😉 )? Or buying a ticket to the concert in a different country without thinking about money or work issues, just enjoying the thought of having it? Or watching a short video of another person’s little nephew and practically bursting with happiness and love? Or writing this and reliving the situations, which makes me what? Right – happy!  😀

This is most certainly not a negative emotion, so I don’t normally have to deal with it, but there are exceptions. For instance, when my morning chirpiness faces the grumpiness of many other not-morning people, I usually try to hold it back and let it go only when those people get their first back-to-life cup of Joe, or till the clock shows something closer to the afternoon 😉

Anyway, so far nothing and no one has been able to deprive me of feeling happy, and even if for a single moment (or, in the worst-case scenario, a whole hour) I think I’ve lost it, in the depth of my heart, in the core of my personality, and in the very centre of my soul I’m absolutely, irreparably, uncontrollably, blissfully happy  😀

Day 30: 30-Day Challenge

Still have 30 minutes to save my mission from failure 😀

The day was super crazy and funny at the same time, with all sorts of emotions and a certain degree of forgetfulness, which didn’t pass by the blog either 😀 Luckily, my sense of responsibility is the last to fall asleep in my body, so now I’m here, putting the final touches on this big 30-day canvas 😉

The last topic on the list is Your Goals for the Next 30 Days 😀

Well, I did enjoy this challenge immensely, and achieved what I wanted, namely bring my blog back to life and go back to the pleasure of writing something in English regularly 😉 So I guess I’ll think of something like this for the near future, and I’m gonna start this Sunday (Monday is too dangerous to have as a set-off day 😛 ) I’ve already got something in mind, so beware, cuz it might be YOU who’s gonna become the next subject of this area of free English thinking 😀

I’ve got to warn you, though, that I’m planning a little rest at the end of the month, so if you are already hooked on reading this stuff, get ready for a bit of withdrawal 😛

In brief, so that I would make it before midnight, my main goals for the next 30 days are:

• to finish another academic year successfully;
• to give a good session of teacher preparation to a group of fantastic fellow teachers;
• to find a much-needed pair of summer shoes;
• to continue writing here;
• and to have a whale of a time offline at the end of May 😀

To put a cherry on top, my kind of carrot for the successful end of year will hopefully be stroopwafels! 😀

Thank you for reading my ridiculous posts, you are very welcome here any other time! 🙂